Winning Without Fighting (PTK Testimonial #3)

I was working late -- again. This was a few years ago, when I was working as an immigration attorney. I enjoyed fighting, loved a challenge, so why not make a career of litigating against the Department of Homeland Security? Somebody needed to help the people who milk our cows, grow our food, staff our hospitals, and play on our sports teams; as well as those fleeing genocide, war crimes, and crimes against humanity. 

So here I was prepaing a 12 inch stack of attachments for a lawsuit I was filing against the Secretary of the Department of Homeland Security and the head of the Federal Bureau of Investigation and a whole host of governemnt officials, agencies, and departments. Why? Because they were sandbagging my client's citizenship applications, specifically the FBI had been sitting on his security check for years, when they are required by law to complete the process within six months.

My client, Yussef [pseudonym], was a green card holder with a US citizen wife and 2 US citizen children. Him and his wife came to the US from Iraq as refugees in the 90's after Yussuf fought in an unsuccessful rebellion against Saddam Hussain following the first Gulf War. He started a business, began a family, got his green card, and starting living the American dream.

Years go by, he has a successful business, the kids are honor roll students, wife get her citienship; and then Bush invades Iraq, again. Some guys in dark suits show up, take Yussuf away, and inform him he is now working as a translator, guide, language and culture instructor for the US military. It is a hardship to leave his busiess and family, but he is a loyal permanent resident of the US and no fan of Saddam.

When he first called me, it was from Fort Bragg, where he lived and worked at the time. He had a security clearance for that. So what was the problem? My attachments were full of photos of Yussef and Force Recon Marines, Rangers, SEALs, and all manner of special operators; it conatined letters from generals and colonels, one even stated, "Yussuf, saved our lives in Fallujah."  I had medals and commendations, better busineess bureau certifications, schoool report cards, letters from neigbors, friends, and clergy; even letters from the kids saying, "pleease don't deport my daddy, an so on. 

It was 1:00am, I electronically submitted my Writ of Mandamus (compels the government to do a job it is required to so by law, i.e. complete the FBI security check. I was tired and hungry, so I ambled off to Gabrilel's Gate, home of the best Buffalo style chicken wings in the Universe. I was minding my own business (my girlfreind clains that I never mind my own business) when the 6'5" 250lbs. bouncer, a friend of mine, came up to me in a panick. There were a couple of real street toughs acting out of control, whom he just asked to leave. They left, but were loitering outside, threating patrons coming in and out. 

Minding my own business, lol, I said "don't worry I'll take care of this." I walked outside, narry a cop in sight, and went right up to these two thugs in their early thirties.  A short, cordial converstation devolved into the more "hopped up" one saying he was gonna "knock me out." I looked at him and said, "if you can hit me?" His friend laughed. I started circling, ducking, waiving-in and out. It was clear he had no chance one on one, but he had bakup. His friend then started yellling at him to give him a cigarette. While his friend ignored him trying to track me, I stopped, calmly walked over and gave hime a cigarette. (I have siince quit that addiction).

Grateful, he turned to his friend and said, "Yo [explative deleted], why don't you leave this man alone?" He then said, "come on it's time for us to go home" and they walked down the middle of the street into the darkness. It then occured what  Sun Tzu had said, that "to subdue the enemy without fighting is the acme of skill."

The next day I got a call from the local head of Homeland Security. He said "we want to bring Yussef in for another interview for his citizenship application." I said "too late, were suing you in Federal Court." He said I know, I just got a call from the Attorney General. Look, this is not a real interview, we want to give him his citizenship." 

Wow! Twice in two days I had defeated the enemy without fighting.